Yes, it’s winding down. Monday was the last dissection in the gross lab for my group. Tuesday was my last Histology small group. Tomorrow will be our last lecture, Thursday will be our last CSE, and Friday will be our last exam in HSF.
So now it’s time to run to the end. On Sunday, I was worried that I might be sick. Thankfully, after resting and a good night’s sleep, I’m back to normal.
***
Never understimate the hunger of a group of med students during the school week. They can be like sharks, circling around for free food. If you haven’t marked or labeled your food, look out.
I mention this because of a popcorn confection I took to a weekend holiday party. The snack was a hit, but I still had about two containers of it leftover. So I took the containers to med school and dropped them off in the med student lounge, with an “Eat Me” Post-It note on the top of each container.
I dropped them off around 8 AM. Around 11 AM, I came back and found them each about 1/4 empty. (Keep in mind that classes were still going on.) By 3 PM, both containers were completely empty. I am impressed.
***
Dr. Osol finished his lectures on pregnancy, puberty, and the male and female reproductive systems today (Tuesday), and he remained ever informative and hilarious.
He talks about the story of sperm, which he says is “one of the most tragic tales in biology”. You see, if around 250 million sperm are ejaculated into the female reproductive tract, then far more than 225 million sperm will die in the first two minutes! In fact, only a few thousand will survive to try and fertilize the egg.
He then asks a female in the front row to pretend to be the egg, and he acts out a sperm who’s attempting to fertilize the egg.
“You’re so beautiful, and I want to approach you, and I get very close! But then, my head starts to hurt! And I can’t get closer! And then I’m going to watch you as I die. Because another one got there first! I know you guys all know about that.”
Here are a few more of his quotes from his lectures:
- “There really are two-headed sperm. I just couldn’t get one to show you. So I brought a brussel sprout instead.”
- “Sperm are fun. They’re really playful little cells.”
- On puberty: “Hopefully you’ve been through it. If not, you should see a doctor at this point.”
- On famous hermaphrodites: “And then there’s Lady Gaga! She might be Lad Gaga! I don’t know!” (Apparently there are rumors that she is one.)
- On the process of sperm maturation, which takes about 70 days: “So if a sperm starts today, right around Valentine’s Day, he’ll be ready to roll! He may be a Valentine’s Day present for some people.”
- “…Viagra, which the French call Le Weekend pill, because you take one on Friday and have a great weekend.”
- “Abstinence is perfect, if you can abstain. That’s the problem.”
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Histology today was led by Dr. Deborah Cook, a pathologist here at UVM. Pathologists have the reputation of knowing everything. Actually, Dr. Cook tells us, it’s just that they know how to look up everything.
Nevertheless, they are awesome. I’ve met several of them in and out of school (as well as students going into the field), and literally every single one has been amazing.
Josh Pothen (UVM’s Meager Med Student)

















